Hurt never

Dear Friends,

Recently, I had a discussion with a close friend about the tough time he was having dealing with difficult past experiences with family members. He said he was even more frustrated by the fact that they didn't even seem to realize that he was upset. When I pointed out that he seemed to be the one who was suffering over this past misgiving, he admitted that he wanted to feel better about it but was having difficulty forgiving and letting it go.

I am amazed by how many times I have heard this, many of us carry around past hurts that weigh on us and can be extremely painful. Lack of forgiveness can be like a festering wound that never heals, often throbs and is easily opened. Issues that are left unresolved can manifest into other problems such as stress, anxiety, unresolved anger, and poor self-esteem.

In this case, we talked about how everyone, at one point or another, has made mistakes or done things they later wished they could go back in time to alter. We also talked about how liberating it feels when the person you harmed is able to find forgiveness. By the end of our conversation, he said he was beginning to understand that forgiveness is a two-way street and that if he wanted to be forgiven of his mistakes, he needed to offer others the same courtesy.

When we spoke later, he said had been giving a lot of thought to our conversation and had realized that the only person he was hurting with his lack of forgiveness was himself. Fortunately, once he realized that, he was able to forgive his family members for the past offense without even needing to drag everything up again. He sounded so relieved and it was great to hear such relief in his voice.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for self-healing. When we can finally just let go and love people for who they are, even when they have hurt us, we free ourselves from any self-imposed bondage of angst and anger, and we also find it easier to forgive ourselves for our own mistakes. Friends, give this some thought to see if you are holding onto some past misgiving that has been weighing you. If so, it is time for a good emotional cleaning!